The one call I never anticipated was this: "Mom, there's a squirrel in the house."
But um, yeah. That's what happened.
"I think it's scared and won't come out," my daughter said.
Yeah, poor him, I thought. I was more worried about my own fear, which came out in a blood-curdling scream when I saw it scurry across the kitchen floor. I grabbed another broomstick and stood guard in the hallway so I could see into the kitchen while also watching our open front door hoping it would run out - and knowing that I would never ever sleep until I saw that little bugger run out the door with my own two eyes.
|My front door: The great escape.|
And since my husband still hadn't gotten home from work, I called the local police.
"Upper St. Clair police. B(unintelligible name) speaking."
"Hi, ummm, are you guys, like, animal control, too?
"Yes. What's the problem."
"We have a squirrel in the house."
"Well, we probably won't be able to do much more than chase it around with you but I can send someone out."
Well, OK, I thought. Better to have someone else stand guard with me than do it alone. Before he could get there, my husband arrived and started moving all of our furniture away from the walls. In the living room, the small furry squirrel made a run for it - back to the kitchen, then bypassing my daughter on the stairs and heading up into what until now had been sacred, squirrel-less territory. My husband followed suit, and the little fuzz-ball ran back down the stairs at seemingly a zillion miles an hour - and straight out the front door.
My relief was quickly tempered by knowing a little piece of the outdoors had been scurrying around my house, leaving God knows what behind and getting into who knows where. I threw out some fruit sitting on the counter, wiped down some countertops and felt blessed that my biweekly cleaning lady was due to come the next day.
And then I stood around, still with the broom in hand and couldn't bring myself to sit anywhere or do anything else. So in true Scarlet O'Hara fashion, I decided to think about it later, scooped up my purse and called out to my daughter:
"Want to go to the mall?"