Summer bucket list

It's almost the unofficial start of summer. So what's on your summer bucket list? Here's mine.

1. Go hiking.

2. Walk on the beach.

3. Go bike riding.

4. Cook on the grill. A lot.

5. Shop at the local farmer's market. A lot.

6. Eat ice cream. A lot. (OK, maybe just a little.)

7. Have a picnic with the kids.

8. Spend several lazy weekends at the pool.

9. Spend time with family - near and far.

10. Clean out my garage.

11. And my car. And keep it that way.

12. Say "yes" when the kids ask to go to the park.

13. And the library.

14. Get crafty.

15. Laugh. A lot.

16. Try not to say the words, "It's too hot."

17. Go antiquing. 

18. Paint something.

19. Try something new.

20. Fail at something new. And then keep trying.

21. Remember to say "thank you." And "I love you." A lot.

22. Take some weekend day trips just because.

23. Be a visitor in my own city. 

24. Be grateful. 

25. And be selfish (just a little). 

Leaning in, and falling over

I've spent a lot of time in airports lately and on a recent trip to Denver I picked up the book "Lean In," by Sheryl Sandberg, the chief operating officer of Facebook. I hadn't heard much about the book but I had heard tons about Sheryl. She was either a new feminist savior, or privileged and out-of-touch - depending on who you asked. The truth probably lies somewhere in the middle, I thought, so I wanted to find out for myself.

It was an easy and short read about how in order for women to really enact change in the workplace, they needed to take a more active role. In their personal lives. And at the office. We should not be afraid to fall but should "lean in." And speak up. And take a seat at the table. And we need to shake off our fears and self doubts and approach our work with confidence. And I found myself nodding along and agreeing with every single word. Every. One. It was as if someone had looked into my head and written down the things I had thought all these years about the mixed messages that face women who want a career and a family and struggle with the unattainable mantra of "having it all" so they settle instead for "this is all there is." And most often all these mixed messages and so much more are coming from inside our own heads. Worse yet, they come from other women, who treat each other as adversaries instead of teammates. And I get it - that maybe Sheryl doesn't represent all women because she's wealthy and has a supportive husband and has privileges that a lot of women don't. But still, I got it. I heard what she was saying. And I agreed.

And ironically, this week, I was forced into a situation that tested my ability to "lean in." At an off-site meeting for work, I was put into a group of people I didn't know. Two others in the group - both women - immediately took charge. When I tried to offer input into the shared goal we were working on, I was told I was wrong. Over and over again. In my head, I thought "Don't shrink. Lean in." And as cliche as it sounds, I did. I kept offering my thoughts. And I kept getting shot down. It seems I was leaning in, and falling right over. Eventually, I stopped trying altogether.

After the exercise was finished, and one of the women had presented our team's work, she asked me if I was upset. Yes, I told her. I was. And I told her why. 

I stewed about it and joked about it with my boss. And I guess I'm still stewing a bit as I write this post. No one wants to feel marginalized - like their opinions or experience don't matter. But in the end, I'll take the blame because I let her win. I let the fear of falling get to me. I should have kept speaking up. I should have sat up straighter at that table. I really should have continued to lean in.

Play time

"One of a parent's best jobs is waiting at the bottom of a long slide."

 Author: Dee Ann Stewart

Wish you were here

Today is Mother's Day and I celebrated by buying myself a waffle maker and making breakfast. But not just any breakfast...

I chose a blue theme and picked out fresh cut flowers from the store to make my own centerpiece. My husband made fun of the plastic plates and cups, but hey it was Mother's Day so I didn't want to get stuck having to wash any dishes. I accented the vase and the centerpiece with some pretty coordinating scrapbook paper and found some funky black and white straws that I knew the kids would love.

I also used the scrapbook paper to make these cute paper mommy birds and sat them in nests I bought from the craft store. 

Perhaps the most fun, though, was buying a variety of things to top the waffles with. I made two kinds of waffles - regular ones using Bisquick baking mix and chocolate ones using a chocolate cake mix. We topped them with strawberries, raspberries, blackberries, chocolate chips, whipped cream, Nutella and so much more. It was decadent and whimsical and we had a great time. But there was just one little thing missing...

My mom, pictured here with my dad and kids last summer. She lives about six hours away and I sure miss her on days like today. But also, I don't need a special day to tell her what a wonderful mother she is and how much she means to me. Thanks, Mom. For being you and everything you do. Next time you visit, the waffles are on me.

Random Rambling Wednesday

There are some days when I just don't have time for a lengthy, well-crafted blog post, but I have things I'd like to share. So in no particular order, here are some random thoughts:

- Today is World Ovarian Cancer Day. I am one of the lucky ones whose ovarian cancer was caught in the earliest stages. It never spread and after surgery last year I am considered cured. But so many other women out there aren't so fortunate. Ovarian cancer is a subtle disease and the symptoms mimic lots of other things. Too often, it's diagnosed in its late stages and is deadly. 

Since my experience last year, I've gotten involved with my local chapter of the National Ovarian Cancer Coalition (NOCC) and it's been the most rewarding and empowering experience ever. (I even painted my nails teal today to commemorate the day!) So I encourage all of you to spread the word. You can find tons of resources at www.ovarian.org. 

My new bead next to my teal
bracelets for ovarian cancer awareness.

- I mentioned earlier this week a clothing service called Gwynnie Bee and promised I'd tell you more. I happened upon this company in the blogosphere one day and took advantage of a one-month free offer. It was a totally impulsive and un-Me thing to do! It's basically a subscription clothing service. Most people call it the Netflix of clothes. I pay a fee every month and choose clothing from their website that I want to try. It's been a great way to perk up my otherwise black and white, boring wardrobe and it lets me try new things without a commitment. But hey, sorry skinny girls. This is for sizes 10 and up only. 

- I bought myself a new Pandora bead last week. It's a forget-me-knot (yes, knot as in a piece of rope). I did it because as I was waiting to fly home from my uncle's funeral last week, I took a stroll through an airport gift shop in Providence. There, on display, was a case full of beads. It reminded me of my visit to Rhode Island last summer, which I commemorated with a bead on my bracelet. When I look down at it on my wrist, next to other beads representing my kids and my marriage, it brings back wonderful memories. What better way to remember my uncle, I thought. Back at home a few days later, I stopped at the Pandora store at my local mall and found this perfect bead. This one's for you, Uncle Pat. 

- I don't know what it is about sunshine and warm weather, but now that Spring is finally here, I can't get enough of it. I have been taking walks at work for no reason, driving with the car windows down without caring what it does to my hair (well, mostly not caring), hanging out with my son at the playground just to soak up the Vitamin D, and even helping my husband do yard work (and I hate dirt. And bugs. Really.) Most of all, though, it's inspired me to get active and eat healthy. That's a total win-win. Two thumbs up for Spring.

 

It's a small world, after all

Since starting this blog, I've become an avid blog reader. I enjoy everything from decorating and fashion blogs to food and fitness blogs. I've found all sorts of great ideas in the blogosphere, including things I've incorporated into my everyday life. For example, my favorite green smoothie recipe (i.e. banana, peanut butter, almond milk, Greek yogurt and spinach) was a blog find. So was my current obsession with a clothing service called Gwynnie Bee (more about that one in a later post...), inspiration for some of my new wardrobe pieces (a great bubble necklace and a new striped shirt that I never would have dared to wear before) and a design idea for my family room (pale blue walls, wooden window treatments and rust-colored curtains). And when you read someone's blog all the time, it's like you really know them. In real life. Even if you don't.

Well, a funny thing happened to me last week that shows the power of blogging. I accepted a last-minute invitation from a few co-workers to lunch. It was a beautiful Spring day and the city was bustling with people in town for last weekend's Pittsburgh marathon. Our group had hoped to sit outside and eat under the sun, but the first-come, first-served tables were already taken when we got there. But as we walked inside, a woman sitting out front caught my eye. "I know her," I thought. Then - it hit. She was a blogger I follow on Twitter! A blogger I read regularly who is on a journey similar to mine - a journey to lose weight and get fit. I immediately told my friends, who urged me to say hello. With their encouragement, I approached her table and introduced myself. She was in town to run the marathon. 

So inspired by that "it's a small world" moment, I thought I'd share with you some of the blogs and bloggers that I'm a fan of. 

1. Since I met her last week, first on my list is Journey of  Dreamer, which is a blog by Courtney Norman. She's lost 40 pounds so far, loves CrossFit and is super real and honest about her journey. You've got to love someone that isn't afraid to post pics of themselves during their weight loss journey online and for that I tip my hat to you! 

2. I just discovered the blog Putting Me Together and I love it. Blogger Audrey has really great, practical tips for creating a wardrobe. Her style is simple and easy to wear with lots of timeless pieces.

3. Similarly, Lilly's Style Blog is amazing! Lilly has incredible style and I could never recreate  - or pull off! - all the looks she wears, but she's great at providing inspiration and suggestions about how to mimic her classic looks. I love her! I also like the Love Love Love blog - Jessica is adorable and has a really cute sense of style.

4. As for decorating, I have a few favorites. I regularly read The Nesting Place  and The Inspired Room. And I also love Our Vintage Home Love. All three of these touch on my own personal style, which is a mix of old and new, polished and rustic. 

5. And I couldn't mention food bloggers without two of my favorite hometown bloggers. Both How Sweet It Is and the Brown Eyed Baker are Pittsburgh-based. They create some amazing sounding dishes and drinks (coconut creamsicle margaritas, anyone?) and often mention great food finds in the city. But the more healthy and sensible side of me also likes Aggie's Kitchen and Everyday Maven. 

I love discovering new blogs. What are some of your favorites?

Coming home...

Home sweet home.

It was a familiar ride that I had unfortunately taken many times before. As we left the white painted brick funeral home where my dear grandparents and so many other relatives had laid down before them, we followed a procession on roadways where the center line is painted green, white and red - the colors of the Italian flag - to a towering old Catholic church. Behind it, an expanse of green was dotted with rows and rows of headstones, large and small. Castelli. Gatta. Russo. In names and dates, they told the stories of us. My family. 

Today, we had come to bring my uncle home.

The days leading up to this had been a blur. A call from my mom telling me "he didn't make it." An early morning plane ride. A hug for my cousins and my aunt. "He was my favorite," I would tell them. Trays of pastries, pizza and sandwiches sent from relatives and neighbors. Sharing stories and laughter. Kissing relatives I hadn't seen in years. And a long walk with my dad around a block of memories on a beautiful sunny Spring day.

He was not supposed to be gone this soon. It had all happened too fast. But together in our heartbreak, we celebrated his life. As a family. We came together despite the miles between us, the years that have passed or the differences that separate us. Because that's what families do.

And when it was all over, I got on a plane and came back to the embrace of my children and the cushion of a familiar bed. And my heart was filled with love and memories. I was home.